two

salam,


hi readers.
freaky isnt it? its 2015 already.
LIKE OMG i'm gonna be 21 in a few months from now hu i'm not ready for this.
so the weather shows its 6 degree celcius out there i'm lying on my bed with the oh so lovely blanket unfortunately too lazy to make myself a cup of warm drink.

spent the 3 weeks winter holiday on the same spot where i'm lying right now is somehow relaxing yet frustrating.
relaxing like been waiting for this holiday the whole december,
eh..haven't i told you?

oh yes this head is keep saying that i'll post something later about my university life but yea i didn't do it lol. i wrote em i swear they preserved nicely on my draft or note but it feels that they don't really express my thoughts ckck, forget it. long story short i am now living in Darmstadt. a biotechnology student first year struggling with the learning materials and of course the language (almost everything actually). i'll write abt it later probably, probably.

so go back
relaxing like been waiting for this holiday the whole december (the third month in my first semester, when i still adapt with the speed of unis) and when its finally here yeayyyy i couldn't be happier. i ate and slept well even did some hobbies. but frustrating as well because i procrastinated almost every plan i made to study on this winter break, it means i have to keep up in full speed which involve more stress. ah yea i didn't really procrastinate, i dumped those plans. and the most annoying one is this homesick feeling.
because (please turn a sad music on)
tomorrow two years ago, i flew from home and landed safely in Germany
two years, not quite a short time but actually long enough a be a pretty good speaker of the native language but shoot i am so bad at deutsch i wanna cry. or long enough to be well integrated but i have not. or long enough to have some native friends but i do still find it uneasy.
i miss home so much.
i wish i could see my family every time such this longing punch me real on my face.
this is what i hate when i feel this way, everything seems so sad and blue and so wrong.


the yearning soul,
salam.