how are you people? i wish you are safe and sound and peace and loved.
i should actually get some sleep, yap i tried but i weirdly cant. i caught a heavy flu since two days ago and yesterday was really the definition of terrible i barely breath, smell or taste anything all i did was sleeping all day long. today is much better i can smell my perfume already and of course my nephew's and niece's sweet baby smelling yay but for God's sake now i am suffering the cough. no matter how bad i got a flu i guess i can always sleep but with cough i cannot. the only delight in this sorrow is that i like how my voice sound when i caught flu just bcs its less shrilly and disturbing lol.
i was thinking to post about ramadhan, i know its a bit late but so? the indonesian brexit a.k.a brebes exit is still terribly occupied which means we are indeed still in the hype of lebaran.
minal aidzin walfaidzin
the july 5th was also pretty much
emotional flooded by feelings. it was the takbeer night. it was getting
gloomier when i talked to some friends. i will never get bored wondering
how fast time flies, that night too. we talked about the last ramadhan
we spent together and so many other things. my mind wandered as well as a
friend of mine was talking to me, my other friend was flying back home,
my other friend was celebrating his birthday, my other friend was
preparing an Eid feast and maybe someone out there was dying while the
others were probably partying. and all i could do was thinking,
wondering about time.
so
far i've spent three ramadhans abroad and this ramadhan was the first
after my return. i know i should be happy when ramadhan comes, but out
of the blue i felt so sad when the ramadhan this year came. i
flashbacked. a lot.
i totally forgot already how i used to spend the takbeer nights before i left but that night i felt so.....confusing. literally i felt less emotion than before but then i realize there's something wrong with me. how could i feel nothing? and i was sad because i felt nothing. confusing, he?
that realized me how much i felt as shit as a sack of potatoes i was crazy lazy during the whole holy month and i felt my seriousness in this ramadhan has degraded from the previous ones. FYI, exactly on ramadhan 1st i had my first finals until exactly two weeks later and i was in so much stress. i didnt expect i could get that pressure i didnt even realize until i got allergic. i handled it as much as i can until the peak was in the day before accounting examination. i shouldnt say this but i think the finals bothered my first two weeks of ramadhan hype. even after the accounting exam, me and some friends drove directly to watch a movie, for heaven's sake we needed to treat ourselves that day. one or two other things were also bothering me in the ramadhan + finals weeks. but my mom came to see me very often at my kosan i felt a lot better everytime:)
dont mistaken me as unhappy that i rejoin my family this year. i utterly thank God for that. its just the transition an the flashback tho. and dont take this as a complain, its a story.
salam,
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