tujuan

salam,

sudah malam, seharusnya aku sedang belajar atau mungkin baru selesai belajar, tapi tidak keduanya aku jalani. percaya sama aku, aku sudah duduk di belakang meja belajar dari pagi, tapi ya begitulah..
mungkin aku kurang motivasi,
atau kurang beryukur
atau kurang tahu diri
atau kurang mengerti
atau kurang pintar
atau kurang rajin
atau kurang yang lain.
aku belum mengerti kenapa aku harus belajar setengah mati, padahal tidak aku tahu tujuan ini semua dan kadang aku jadi beradu pendapat, tentang pentingnya tujuan.
beberapa percaya bahwa tujuan itu tidak perlu dicari, jalani dan ia akan menemukanmu pada akhirnya. ya, aku mengerti maksud kalian, seiring jalannya waktu gitu kan, atau paling mentok ibarat jalan yang salah membawa kita ke tempat yang benar, kan?
jujur ya, terdengar indah sekali. aku suka.
tapi bagiku, tujuan itu perlu. tujuan adalah kisi-kisi langkah yang sebaiknya aku ambil, adalah semangat dan motivasi. tujuan adalah motor pendorong disaat kaki lelah berlari.
rumit sih perasaanku ini. aku harap kamu jadi aku saja, biar kamu bisa mengerti tanpa perlu aku jelaskan.
tolong deh, bantu aku untuk sadar kalau jalan pikirku salah. bantu aku meluruskannya, ya..
tapi kalau aku salah saja.
tapi kalau benar, gimana?

kamu tahu?
kadang aku hanya ingin mengalah
tapi kadang aku bisa sangat keras kepala.

salam.

tertanda,
aku yang kali ini sebenarnya sedang keras kepala.

Ramadhan 2015 / 1436H - Stadtbürgerfest

Salam,

it's fourth day of ramadhan already... it's so amazing to be true that this is my third ramadhan in germany, i wrote once that the first ramadhan was the best (out of two) but i hope this year would be a blast too. so 18-19 hours fasting isn't a joke but thanks God these past days are rainy and cold so the throat don't feel like the sahara but i do get used to it after i did practice to fast in summer twice a week starting from april, so i guess i'm fine.

i'm just indefinite that i'm okay with my desire to buy things.
i normally am a type who keeps buying things even when those aren't necessary and when i can't buy food i keep and keep and keep looking for things........... live or virtually.
never a glimpse in my mind that i wanted to buy plastic plates while i didn't need em, but now i do.
in sake of their pattern cuteness.
or a floating pool balloon just for your drink meanwhile i don't swim.
in sake of it's color.

aside i guess i miss home and its Ramadhan hype, i always think to eat unaccompanied isn't that pleasant and the fact that sometime i skype friends to talk to when i eat is considered miserable.
but still is better alone than with somebody you don't wanna accompanied by.
weird i feel so alay because i feel so unloved lately i almost laugh at myself maybe i just miss my family too much... i arrange to fly home this August i hope it'll go well and smooth and save and sound.

fyi,
before ramadhan an International Stadtbürgerfest was held in the heart of Darmstadt, Luisenplatz!
it wasn't a huge kind of fest but still we were happy to see international crowds in the same place and time showing their culture and culiaries. we were so welcomed and the locals were so enthusiastic.
Indonesische Kultur- und Informationszentrum Darmstadt (translated Indonesian Culture and Information Centre Darmstadt) participated in this event and i was their cashier as we sold foodies.
the menus were Nasi Kuning, Gado-Gado, Siomay, Bakso, Sate Ayam, Rendang, Bubur Kacang Ijo, Bubur Ketan Hitam, Soda Gembira and Traditional Snacks such Klepon, Risoles, Martabak, Bakwan, Kue Dadar and some other that i can't even remember
and yes the best seller comes to....drumroll.......... Bakwan and Martabak!
both were first to sold out.
but unfortunately i was too busy to stroll around other booths and another indonesian booth (the Katholische Verein) *tears*
maybe next time:)

salam,
wish you a blessed Ramadhan

ps: all pictures are taken from IKID e.V's documentary
do not take without permission.